WKHR: 2:30am Radio!
by C1ockworks
Summary: It's finally over.... Oh well be on the lookout for WKHRU Kingdom Hearts Radio Underground! Sora gets a job at a radio station and drags Roxas along with him. Guest appearances by everyone who was in Kingdom Hearts, well some of them.
1. Chapter 1

"Hello! Welcome to 99.9 WKHR 2:30am This is your boy, S-O-R-A on your radio. With my bro Roxas. How's everyone sleepin' tonight?" Sora nearly screamed into the microphone.

"They're not with you yellin' on the radio at 2:30 in the morning." Roxas grumbled, Nearly asleep on the table.

"No one actually listens to us so it doesn't matter." Sora said quite energized for his day or night job. "Anyway we got a whole bunch of people stopping in on us tonight. We got, my girl Kairi, my boy Riku, Don, and Goof, Jane, Captain Jack, King Mickey, Herc, Meg, Phil, Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, Rikku, Yuna, Paine, Tidus, Wakka, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Pinnochio; he's a real boy ladies and gents. Uh, we have Chicken little, Chip and Mrs. Potts. . ." Sora continued,

"Basically anyone who's ever been in the Kingdom Hearts games will be here. So this'll be a long night, lady and gentleman." Roxas groaned. "And if you still want a reason to not listen, we're playing nothing but Utada Hikaru songs all night. . . er, morning, because it's the only album we have legal permission to play."

"What are you talking about Rox? Those are the best songs." Sora said eagerly.

"Please. I'd rather hear you sing them than listen to them." Roxas said.

"But Roxas. . ."

"Sora, I need to sleep. Why you dragged me out of yourself, which I have no idea how you did, just to go on the radio for 12 hours I have no clue. So please either let me go back to Namine– er, I mean back into you or let me sleep." Roxas growled as he buried his head into his folded arms

"You are losing major cool points, mister." Sora mocked. "He's no fun. Anyway people of the Destiny Islands, all of our guests will be coming soon. Especially Kairi."

"And Namine." Roxas coughed.

". . .And Namine." Sora added. "So don't touch that dial, that is if you haven't already. Right here on WKHR 99.9


	2. Enter the King, Riku, Kairi and Namine

"Yes, That was one of my dear favorites. Sanctuary by Utada Hikaru. That song really does mean something to me." Sora said reminiscing about the good old days.

"Yeah. I know. I was there." Roxas sighed. He began to sit up knowing full well that Sora would not let him sleep.

"I wasn't talking to you Roxas, I was talking to the listeners." Sora said.

"I _am_ your listeners, Sora"

"Well anyway, lets hear it for our next two lovely guests, Kairi and Naminé ."

Kairi and Naminé walked into the studio and took a seat at the two empty microphones.

"Welcome to the show ladies." Sora said.

"Thanks for inviting us." Naminé said. "Uh, Roxas, are you okay?"

"Naminé, It's 2:45. AM." Roxas said sounding a bit frustrated.

"I know." Naminé replied.

"So Kairi. Our viewers have to know. How was your whole experience throughout these last few years."

"Lonely, tiresome, way too much excitement for me." Kairi replied. "Well it actually depends on what part of these last few years.

"What about the part where me and Riku came back?" Sora said eagerly.

"Oh, well that was the worst part. I couldn't get any peace. It was always noisy. You people never know when to sit down and shut up." Kairi said.

". . .That's how you feel, Kairi?" Sora said in a sad puppy way.

"Well, Sora, considering how much she actually cares about you, I slightly doubt it." Roxas said sarcastically. "So Naminé I have a question for you? What were you thinking when you replaced yourself as Kairi in Sora's memory"

"Just following orders." Naminé said politely. "But I always liked you better." She smiled.

Roxas chuckled while scratching his neck. "Yeah I know."

Sora beamed a paopu fruit at his "identical" counterparts head. "Just kiss her and have nobody babies already."

"Why would you treat you twin nobody like that Sora?" Kairi said.

"Twin?" Sora laughed. "We look as much alike as Sonic and Shadow"

**(A/N: Don't own 'em. Don't sue me!"**)

"Anyone with a half a brain could tell us apart." Roxas said offering Naminé half of the paopu. She took it and ate it like it was nothing. "Told you she liked me." Roxas said as-a- matter-of-factly "Anyhoo, our next guest, we all love 'em we all know him; that is if you haven't been under a rock all those years, King Mickey Mouse! Oh yeah and Riku too."

Riku and King Mickey stepped into the booth.

"Riku, Your Majesty. Good to see you. How've you been?" Sora said as if he hadn't seen them in years.

"Sora, we've seen you like two hours ago when you broke into my house to wake us up at midnight to come on this redundant show." Riku grumbled. He sat down next to Roxas and eyed him cautiously. "Roxas. . ." he murmured.

"Riku. . ." Roxas replied.

"Hey! You wanna take this outside!" Riku yelled as he quickly stood up, causing him to get extremely lightheaded. "Hold on, lemme try that again." He said as he sat back down and shook his head a few times. "Hey! You wanna take this outside!" Riku said as he _slowly _stood up.

"I don't think so. You wait until you handle that little problem of yours." Roxas said calmly.

"Riku, man, chill out. It's not that serious, man." King Mickey said sitting down next to Sora. "Relax, drink some fruit punch, enjoy the faulty AC."

"Yes, your highness." Riku said. "Imitation. . ." Riku whispered under his breath."

"Pretty boy. . ." Roxas whispered.

They both stood up quickly "What'd you say?" Riku was trying so hard not to sit back down. At the same time Roxas was slowly tilting his head back to prevent the blood from running down his nose. "Man, I'll deal with you later." They both said simultaneously. Roxas strode for the bathroom and Riku sat down, holding his head.

"Just to think of it, that used to be us." Sora said. "My nose starts bleeding when I stand up too fast, too. Anyway, King Mickey I have a few questions from the viewers."

"How can they have questions if you have no viewers. And by the way all radio stations have less viewers than listeners because they don't have any. People don't watch the radio, genius." Roxas stuffily yelled from the bathroom.

"I don't care. Leave me and my naive dreams. That's why your parents don't love you." Sora yelled back.

"Of course not. They don't know who I am anymore" Roxas replied.

"Whatever Roxas." He pulled out a sheet of paper with some written questions. "I'm sorry your highness. Will you still answer the questions?"

"Fire away." the king said, folding his hands on the table.

"Now that the worlds are allegedly at peace, what happens now?" Sora read.

"Nothin'. At least until KH3."

**(A/N: Which I don't own)**

"Okay, next question. What's the situation on you and Queen Minnie?"

King Mickey chuckled."Oh, well, uh. . . No comment"

"Alright, alright. Well, that's all the questions. We don't have many listeners."

"You don't have _any _listeners." Roxas said exiting the bathroom with balled up toilet paper in his nostrils.

"Don't tell him that!" Sora whispered.

"It's okay Sora. I don't mind." King Mickey said cooly while propping his short legs up on the table.

"There's so much controversy. . ." Naminé said.

Roxas sat next to her and put his arms around her. "That's okay. Don't let any of the idiots, except the King and Kairi, influence you Naminé."

"Hey Sora, why don't you rap for them?" Riku said still holding his head.

"Oh my goodness." Roxas sighed.

"Okay, gimme a beat R-man." Sora said putting on his headphones as if he were a real rapper.

"Only if you promise to never call me that ever again in your life." Riku said pulling out two pens.

"You got it, son, now what da hook gon be playa, playa?" Sora said trying to be 'gangster.'

Everyone in the booth was silent. They stared at Sora like, what the f(# .

Riku tapped on the table with the pens in rhythmic succession.

"Uh, Yeah, throw your hands in the air!" Sora said. Nobody did it. "But then you don't have to. . ."

**(A/N: I don't own this rap. I just remixed a little bit. I have a serious lack of creativity so here goes! If you know The Boondocks theme song just sing along with that)**

"I am the stone that the building refused

I am the visual

The inspiration that makes heartless sing the blues

I'm the spark that makes your eyes get bright.

The same spark that lights the dark so you can know your left from you right

I am the light in your heart

The key on your chain

The little voice that gives the choice of making you insane

The thought behind the brain that's stronger than crack cocaine

And I'll remain a hero 'till all darkness is slain."

There was a long pause of silence.

"Wow. . . . That was. . . . Wow." Riku said. "Good job, Sora."

"If that didn't attract more viewers, then nothing will." Roxas said near hysterical laughter.

"That was interesting." Naminé said.

"He just made my night, well morning." Kairi said.

"See, That's why he's the Keyblade master. Pure of heart, and multi-talented" King Mickey said while clapping.

"We need to take a break." Roxas laughed. "Our next guests, all the people who made us who we are today, except for the creators and story board writers. So keep it locked right here on WKHR 2:30 am radio."

"Who are you taking to?" Sora asked sitting on the table in front of his seat. "We don't have any listeners, remember?"

"We'll advertise okay? As soon as I get some sleep, at 2:30 pm I'll wake up sometime before midnight and advertise the show. So if someone has insomnia they'll turn on the radio." Roxas said smugly. "And now a word from our sponsors, if we have any."

"The station does, we don't" Sora said.

"Well, now a word from their sponsors."


	3. Haley and David

"We're back on WKHR. Here joining us is Kairi, King Mickey Mouse, Naminé and Riku. This is the dynamic duo, the dream team, the princes of the islands, Sora and Roxas. Roxas fell asleep during the break. He's been working hard, so I'll let him sleep for a few minutes." Sora said rubbing Roxas' spiky hair.

"Anyway. Our next guests, the men who made me and Riku who we are today. Our heros, our idols, and most of all, our voices. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Haley Joel Osment and David Gallagher."

Haley and David walked into the booth and sat next to their respected characters.

"How's it goin' Sora?" Haley said.

"Not bad at all Haley. Sorry you can't stay for long though pal." Sora said.

"Yeah, well it is three in the morning. I got a lingerie shoot-- I mean magazine cover in about three hours so I gotta go get ready." Haley said uneasily. "And Dave's comin' too. Right, David?" Haley glared at David.

"Oh, yeah. Whatever you say Mr. Osment, uh, I mean Haley." David said uneasily.

"Aw, come on, David. Don't take that from him!" Riku said.

David leaned over to Riku. "I have no choice. He's blackmailing me. He threatened to tell everyone that there's secretly gonna be another season of 7th Heaven airing on ESPN at midnight exactly after it ends on WB." He whispered.

**(A/N: Don't own ESPN. Don't own 7th Heaven or WB)**

"That's something you gotta keep under wraps." Riku said.

"Mr. Osment, can I have your autograph?" said Demyx, popping in from the weather room with a notepad.

"Demyx, what are you doing? You only get paid while you're in the weather room."

"This is Destiny Islands. The weather is always sunny and beautiful unless there is another heartless attack. There's no need for me." Demyx said

"Fine, you're fired." Sora said.

"Oh, look! That cloud! It may produce a tornado! I must watch it!" Demyx said sarcastically, while walking back into the weather room with a new signature.

"What's is Demyx doing here?" Haley asked.

"You don't know? When people want to turn their lives around they always go to the radio." Kairi said.

"I wouldn't mind turning my fist around Sora's face again." Demyx muttered.

"What?" Sora said.

"I said I wouldn't mind doing a performance for Mr. Osment and Mr. Gallagher, Sora." Demyx said pulling out his guitar.

**(A/N: I Seriously made this one up guys.**)

"Oh, David and Haley I'm here to say.

I thank you for comin' through today.

You take time out to visit us

On the Destiny Island-ius

Where everything is beautiful and so bright

But I wish someone would turn out the light

That the sun is emitting

It got me quitting

The morning, afternoon and evening stroll

That I like to do when I'm on the roll

Otherwise I play with my cat, Fluffy

Or I sit down and watch me some Buffy

The Vampire Slayer

Or learn to be a basketball player

My cake I like in three layers

Or maybe four.

And If that ain't enough I'll get me some more.

My name is Demyx

It rhymes with Xenix

I'm cool calm and collected

You better respect it

Five to the six to the seven to the eight

I pick up sticks and lay 'em straight.

I'm a nobody but I'm somebody in KH land

Stand up, I'll knock you down cause I'm the man.

My shirt is yellow my shoes are orange. . . ."

"He's done." Sora said.

"How do you know?" Demyx yelled.

"Nothing rhymes with orange, genius. You're not even wearing yellow and orange. You're wearing black." Sora said folding his arms.

"Don't make me put the smack down on your rooty tootie candy booty" Demyx said raising his guitar.

"You're fired." Sora said calmly.

"I think that cloud is rotating. Oh, no. We may need a tornado warning." Demyx said easing back into the weather room.

"Well. Haley, David. We've enjoyed your stay. Come back sometime. We'll be here." Sora said. "Of course no one else will. I don't even know if Roxas will be here."

"We'll come back at our earliest convenience." Haley said. He snapped his fingers and David leaped out of his seat to his side and followed Haley out.

"Poor guy." Riku sighed.

"Why can't you be more like David, Riku?" Sora asked.

"Because you know better" Riku grunted.

"Of course. But, Riku my friend, do you?" He replied trying to sound cool.

"Shut up, Sora. You're more like David than I am." Riku chuckled.

"What are you talking about?" Sora asked trying to recall anytime he submitted to anyone.

"Marluxia, roll footage from KH2. Right before Sora and I fought Xemnas in that ship."

"Yes, sir, Riku, sir" Marluxia screamed from the recording booth, quickly standing from his chair. He put in the KH2 footage as it played on the screen behind Roxas.

"Look sharp." Roxas said.

Sora straightened up instantly as Roxas walked back into him.

"End of footage, sir" Marluxia screamed. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you, soldier." Riku said softly.

"Yes, sir Thank you, sir." Marluxia said.

"Need more proof? There are like, ten more scenes like that in Kingdom Hearts." Riku asked with a large grin on his face.

Sora could have sworn that he heard Roxas giggle. "No, no I'm fine." Just then it suddenly got extremely hot in the booth. "Hey, Larxene, what's goin' on down there?" He yelled through the ventilation shaft.

"It's not me. It's Axel. He's got this cold, well it's actually more like a fever. He's burning up down here." Larxene yelled back. She was in the furnace, cooling the whole building.

"He's not even supposed to be here. He's on break until it gets cold." Sora replied.

"He came to see me." Larxene said quietly.

"Well then, bring up some fans and close the vents until he leaves." Sora said patiently,

"Okay, thanks Sora." Larxene said happily.

Sora closed the vent. "If those fans aren't up here in five minutes we will be sitting in the heat, for eleven hours."

"Sora? How did the Big XIII get here?" Riku asked, recalling seeing every member of the Organization here but Ansem and Xemnas.

"I lost a bet." Sora replied. "And Xemnas is here. He manages the show. Ansem drowned on the way here. It was _way_ too bright for him and he fell overboard on the ship bringing then all here. No one bothered to help. The all just watched. Xemnas and I made a little wager on how long he would struggle. And I lost, so I had to get a job at a radio station and recommend the whole Organization to work with me. Whoever hired us all must've been drunk."

Riku looked incredibly confused. "Really?"

"Yep." Sora said. "Now it's time for a commercial break. We'll be back with more tunes and whatever else walks through the door. Keep it tuned in to WKHR."

"It's 'keep it locked'" Roxas grumbled.

"Keep it locked to WKHR" Sora quickly corrected.

"You're afraid of him aren't you?" Riku said.

"COMMERCIALS!" Sora yelled.


	4. Put m3 n ur t0p 8

"Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before." Sora lip synced. "These songs just hit me right there." He said as he pointed to this pancreas.

Roxas stared at him in a sideways glance. "I don't even want to know."

"Anyway, our next guest. All the way from Traverse Town, the hotel desk clerk." Riku said happily. He felt energized for no reason.

"No vacancy." Said a voice from behind the entrance to the booth.

"Um, don't you want to come out and sit down?" Sora asked.

"No vacancy."

"Yeah, I know." Sora said. He leaned over to Roxas. "That hotel is as empty as Pence's head."

"Don't you dare talk about my friends! Just because yours are some fighting losers, doesn't mean mine are too just because of me being your nobody." Roxas shouted. "As a matter of fact, since whoever you call on just seems to pop up-"

"No vacancy"

"I'll call on my own guests. Hayner, Pence and Olette." Roxas said, interrupted in mid-sentence by the hotel clerk.

Hayner walked into the booth followed by Pence and Olette. "Roxas! Where have you been?" Olette said. "Your ice cream's just been melting away the over last few months."

"Are you sure Pence is the one with the empty head?" Riku whispered to Roxas.

Roxas stood up slowly. "Listen, punk, I'm about to go Keyblade master on your behind. If Sora can't talk about my friends what makes you think that you can?"

Riku remained seated abd counted on his fingers as he spoke. "I'm not Sora. I'm not afraid of you. And I already look sharp, so there."

"You're gonna take that from him, Rox? I thought I taught you better than that?" Hayner instigated.

"No, I'm not." Roxas said. He summoned the Oathkeeper keyblade and was about to swing directly at Riku's head. But he froze when he felt a draft on his legs.

"Too slow." Riku said. By the time Roxas had summoned his keyblade, Riku had already pulled down his pants, revealing darkside heartless tightie-whities, and tied his shoelaces together. "Way, too slow. Slower than Sora, my goodness."

Naminé giggled. Roxas' face turned bright red. He quickly pulled up his pants. "Nice underwear, Roxas." She said.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Roxas said straightening quickly. He nose began to bleed.

"No vacancy"

"Nice one, Roxas." Hayner said disappointedly.

"I'll be back." He said dejectedly and walked into the bathroom with his nose in his hand and his pants around his ankles. "Welcome out next guest, Maleficent." He said in a final attempt of desperation.

"No vacancy"

Maleficent hovered into the room on her boulders. "Hello my pretties." She cackled. "I always wanted to say that." she whispered.

"Why, Roxas? Of all people, Maleficent." Riku yelled. "C'mon, I beat her in Kingdom Hearts in 3-D and Chain of Memories in 2-D with cruddy cards. This is the best you can do?" Riku turned to Maleficent and gave her an unwelcome glare. "Leave." He said in a stern voice.

Maleficent's boulder dropped to the ground and shattered all over the floor. She quickly ran out of the booth.

"No vacancy"

"I wish I could do that" Sora sighed.

Hercules walked into the booth wearing sunglasses and a pair of jeans over his armor.

"Hey, Herc. Finally took my advice and got some pants, eh?" Riku said.

"Yeah, but I don't feel the freedom anymore." Hercules said. "And my cheesy Italian voice over just isn't the same anymore."

"It's a little thing called character separation." Sora started. "After the games are over, all the copies drop from sixty bucks to like ten dollars, you kind of feel like you have no purpose, and that nothing is quite the same anymore." Sora said. Riku imitated a violinist. "Yet Kingdom Hearts 2's retail price has hardly dropped a dime and most likely won't until fall, at latest next year, and at very latest when Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out."

"Like gas prices, except there's pretty much no hope for that at all." Kairi said sadly.

"I miss Meg." Hercules said. "We need to hurry and have Lil' Herc. Being a half god ain't easy."

"Where did Hades find her?" Riku said scratching his head.

"Probably the same place everyone else finds people, myspace, facebook, hoverspot, eHarmony." Sora sighed.

**(A/N: You know good and well that I do not own any of those websites. If I did, I would not be writing fanfictions, I'd be writing storylines for video games.)**

"Roxas is on myspace." Naminé said. "So am I."

"Everyone is. Even the author of this crazy story." Roxas said while blowing his nose on some toilet paper.

"Shut up. Just shut up." Riku said, trying to avoid confrontation.

"Why so touchy, Riku?" Sora smiled mischievously. "I guess someone ain't on myspace."

"Leave me alone. I don't believe in myspace." Riku said.

"Come on! It's like the American internet dream. Where people of all colors, shapes and sizes can put pictures of unknown super models on their pages and talk to some pedofile who think they're talking to someone hot and get their address and rape them. It's all good Riku." Sora said sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, when you get raped do not call me to help you 'overcome the darkness'. But if it's a chick then feel free." Riku said.

"Okay, okay. I got the most dangerous nobody in the Organization. He's so dangerous, they erased his memories so he would remember. So dangerous, he was the reason why Neo-Twilight Town was created. So dangerous, he almost took me out. He can even withstand Demyx's music. This dangerous wonder, who I'm proud to say is half of me, and has my name scrambled up with an "x" in it. My half brother and the star of KH2 . . ."

"Just say Roxas." Riku yelled.

". . . Roxas." Sora said.

"The irony is Roxas, not only hardly remembers any of it, but after all of the heartless slaying, and keyblade wielding, which includes jumping up and down like a rabid monkey, from incredible heights and running up buildings, without breaking a sweat, after standing up too quickly, his nose bleeds profusely." Riku said.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey . . . hey." Roxas said.

"Yes, Fat Albert?" King Mickey chortled.

Roxas glared at the King. "Very funny. Like I was sayin' . . . ."

"Rox-as!" Axel screamed as he barged into the studio.

"Oh, nah" Roxas whispered.

"Hey pal! How's it goin?" Axel said creating a flame chair next to Roxas.

"It's goin good Axel. How's Larxene?" Roxas said.

"Oh she's fine. She helped me with my cold." Axel said. "She gave me her number."

"Got it memorized?" Roxas said.

"That, I do my good friend." Axel said.

"Axel are you on Myspace" Riku asked.

"Yeah. Who isn't?" Axel said. "Everyone in '13' is. My display name is AXEL8. Got it memorized?"

**(A/N: If it is, it's a coinkeydink)**

"I'll add you to my friends list. I'll put you in my top 8." Sora said.

"Top 8? Who does top 8? I got a top 16." Kairi boasted.

"Everyone in '13' has a top 12 with all the members in it." Axel said.

"I got a top 24" Roxas said.

"But Roxas . . ." Axel whined.

"You and the others are the first twelve." Roxas sighed.

"I got a top 38."King Mickey said.

"So do I." Naminé chirped. "I'll send you guys the bulletin."

Everyone kept rambling on and on about their myspace and codes for their pages and whatnot.

"Okay, okay. I'll get a myspace as soon as I get home." Riku said.

"Good onya, Riku!" Demyx said, strumming on his sitar. Large amounts of water fell to the floor.

"Demyx! You'll ruin the floors! Cut it out!" Sora screamed.

"Sorry Roxas, I mean Sora." Demyx said.

"You're just trying to lose your job aren't you?" Sora and Roxas said in unison.

"Nah, just messin' with ya." Demyx said. "Hey, where's Saix? He and Jack were supposed to be here."

"They're runnin' late. You know, Saix actually likes nighttime. And Jack's a pirate." Roxas said. "I want a Sea-salt. Anyone else want a Sea-salt?"

"I always knew you were good for something, Roxas, ol' buddy." Hayner said.

"I want one too!" Ollete piped up

"And me!" Pence said.

"I'll be back." Roxas said headed for the basement freezer. "Oh, Sora?"

"Yes Roxas?" Sora said, knowing that Roxas was up to something

"Jesse's on the way." Roxas said as he walked out the door.

"Yeah. You heard him ladies. Jesse McCartney is on the way. We sent Tifa after him when he didn't arrive with Haley and David. She's our own personal hit man. She's worse than Sephiroth. And Cloud. And once Larxene's done acting like Zexion she'll be up, Grandma Vexen, Uncle Xigbar, Daddy Xemnas and the whole rest of the Organization family are on the way. And yes, people of the world, I do know the Vexen not only is a man but that Xemnas scrambled up is 'Mansex'" Sora said with a serious face.

"Ha hah ha!" Axel screamed. "It's hilarious how a young man looks like an old lady."

"Catch us back here on WKHR you know we ain't goin' nowhere." Roxas said as he gestured Axel over to his microphone.

"We're up when you're not!" Axel said

"Got it memorized?" The two said simultaneously.

"Believe it!" Sora chimed in.

**(I don't own naruto or his catchphrase)**


	5. Fan Mail

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

"Where is Tifa! She and J Mac are supposed to be here." Roxas said pacing around the studio with his Sea-Salt ice cream.

"That's what you get for sending a chick after a famous pop star." Demyx said, dancing with his water forms.

"Do people think Demyx and I are related?" Axel asked.

"I'm here!" Zexion said as he poked his head through the door of the studio.

"Great. Get down to the basement. Larxene needs a break. AC's not her thing." Sora said.

"All right. Tell the people I said hi." Zexion said on his way to the basement.

"You heard him guys. Zexion said hello. Oh, wait. Hey, Z!" Sora yelled.

"Yeah?" Zexion yelled back.

"Have you seen Saix and Jack?" Sora said.

"They're in the parking lot." Zexion said.

"Okay, thanks, and by the way, grab a headset and tell Larxene to come upstairs when you get to the basement."

"All right, boss."

"Hey Zexion!" Demyx shouted.

"Yes, Demyx?"

"Keep it cool, dig?" Demyx said.

"That's my job." Zexion said as he put on a wireless headset and went down into the basement.

"Why aren't you people acting like you do in the games?" Riku asked. "Zexion is friendly, Roxas is extremely cranky, Axel's a myspace nut, King Mickey's relaxing like a surfer, Demyx. . . well is more Demyx-y than usual. What next? Xemnas giving out chocolates?"

"Don't say it he just might. . ." Roxas started.

"Anyone want some kisses?" Xemnas appeared out of absolutely nowhere with a plate of Hershey Kisses.

(DON'T OWN THEM)

"You're not exactly acting like yourself either." Roxas said. "You're usually the cool guy who just asks questions about stuff that's just about to happen."

"That's just how I'm acting. I asked a question about Xemnas and guess what. He's out here serving chocolates." Riku sighed.

"Kairi, I don't think I've told you this before, but I love you." Sora said.

"Isn't that what you said when you left the first time?" Kairi said.

**SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! IF YOU HAVEN'T BEATEN KINGDOM HEARTS YET AND IF NOT WHAT IN THE WORLD IS TAKING YOU SO LONG, DON'T READ THIS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT BOLD PRINT AREA.**

"You mean when the ground was parting and you let go of my hand and I was yelling random stuff to you right before the credits started to roll?" Sora described.

"Yeah, somewhere in that sentence." Kairi replied.

"I love you was in there somewhere. You're right." Sora smiled.

**END SPOILER!!!!!!!!!**

"The moon's a beauty tonight!" Saix said, sliding in on his hammer while grinding up the floor in the process.

"That she is." said Captain Jack

"Hey! Yell at him for ruining the floors!" Demyx said

"I only told you to stop because you live with me and don't pay any rent because you're broke. So if you mess up the floors, I'll end up paying for it. Saix, on the other hand is richer than Orlando Bloom. So he can grind up the floors if he wants. He'll just buy new ones like he has for his past 10 visits." Sora said.

"Yeah, that's right." Demyx said

"Jack, have you been stealing treasure again?" Riku asked.

Jack sat down under a conveniently placed sunroof where the moon was casting light. He quickly turned into zombie Jack "Now what makes you think that, mate?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Sora I heard you were rapping." Zexion said over the headset.

"Yeah, man. I was baaalllllllin'" Sora shouted.

"Shut up, boy." Kairi said, her mood suddenly changed.

"Someone needs to check their panties." Zexion said.

"Nah, it's just that, Sora been rappin' all night." Kairi replied.

**(Rappin' here means talking excessively not rapping as in speaking in a poetic manner**.** A little D.C. metropolitan area slang for ya.)**

Luxord walked into the room with envelopes circling his body. He stopped at the table and waited for each letter to collide with the table and fall out of its orbit around his body. As the last envelope smacked into the table he turned and walked away.

"More reviews from critics and stuff I suppose." Sora said reaching for a letter.

"Don't forget the bills." Saix said, beginning to grind his name on the floor.

"Oh, I won't" Sora said looking at the electricity bill addressed to Saix.

"Don't adjust your radios ladies and gentlemen. It's just Saix being rich. You might just lose us." Roxas said.

Sora ripped open the side of an envelope and read it out loud.

"'Damn that chapter was funny even though you haven updated in THREE MONTHS! Any way I don't know if your a Narutard are not but naruto only says believe it in the english version, another reason for us to hate english dubbes. They cut out all the violence and drama and added all this crap! Doesn't it piss you off?' I knew I should not have said believe it." Sora sighed.

"Well hey, I don't care." Axel said. "Got it memorized"

"What's a Narutard?" Kairi asked.

"I supposed it's an extreme Naruto fan-boy/girl" Riku said. "What's a dubbe?"

"I think it's hair gel" Roxas said.

"Why did they call it a chapter? Like this is a book or some weird fanfic or something," Naminé asked.

"Maybe were on a reality show." Hayner said.

"Reality shows don't have chapters, they have seasons." Pence replied.

"I wanna read the next one. Roxas said. "'Loved your story so far it's halarius. The people I want in the story are, Yuffie my favorite KH charactor, Yuna, Rikku, and Paine. Also Sir Auron. ( If your confused about the SIR thing don't ask it's a FFX Fan thing) PLEASE UPDATE SON!' What? This isn't a story. This is my life!" Roxas screamed. "Yuna is my best friends' girlfriend, Rikku is Yuna's cousin and who in the blue heartless is Paine? What is FFX? How do you know Auron? And why do they keep talking about updating? We come on live everyday. If you just happen to sleep while were on the air then, congratulations, you have a life." Roxas hyperventilated.

"Awkward. . . ." Naminé said quietly

"This is insane." Saix said. "'hehe, I like this story! update it soon, pwease? does Sora's infamous puppy dog face thanks! ' These people really think this is some sorts of story

"That face is copywritten to Roxas and I but I make it look cuter because my voice changed drastically between the first and second Kingdom Hearts. Hey did you hear that we almost won best RPG in GPhoria this year?" Sora said.

"Yeah, but I'm not registered to vote, on top of that I'm really not an actual person so I couldn't vote for us." Riku sighed

"Yeah, me too" everyone else sighed. Roxas was rocking back and forth in a fetal position on the floor sucking his thumb.

"All right. Review mail! 'LMFAO!! I love this story!! It totally shocked me when Haley and David made the scene. You have to put those guys in it again! Update soonish:-D'"

"THIS IS NOT A STORY!!!! IT'S MY LIFE!! It's my life. . . It's my life. . . ." Roxas started to sob on the floor.

"Yeah, Haley and David really turned it out here. They'll be back soonish but, if you will, what in the nobody is LMFAO?"

"Maybe it's an acronym. Maybe it stands for Lazy Men Fight At Opera's?" Axel said.

"Maybe it stands for Love Myspace F Anything Other." King Mickey said.

"Amen to that brother." Axel said

"I think it stands for Laugh My Fing A Off" Kairi said.

Everyone paused. "Nah!"

"We'll put that on Dictionary list. Let's read the next one. ',m nklsdji XD SO FRIKING FUNNYY!  
u know what? I love fanfics like thsi where Sora and Roxas are all working otgether and stuff, cause I think its just cute! I mean in the game Roxas dosent feel anger towards Sora when he realize that he was Sora's nobody and stuff, and well anyone will feel bad, and he didnt so fanfics like this are jsut cute! they're all working together and stuff I love you!' I don't think Roxas likes these kinds of reviews. I personally would love it if people would actually spell the English language. Besides this ain't no fanfac, it's a radio show and Roxas and I almost always work together." Sora said. "Well unfortunately we've only got time for one more. Naminé would you like to do the honors?"

"Sure, Sora." She said. "'I really like this. It's very funny. Please bring in Captain Jack Sparrow next. That would be VERY interesting.' He's already here."

"That I am." Jack said. Raising his arm into the moonlight and watching it decay and fall off onto the table. "Oh, my."

"All right we gotta go. Next up the all chatspeak episode." Sora finishes picking Roxas up off of the floor. "Oh and for all you action romance lovers, go read risensoldiers The Hero That Never Was and review too. It stars Riku and his girlfriend too.

"She is so beautiful, I love her so much. She coulld beat up Sora without breaking a sweat."

"Read it or we'll cancel the show."

"DON'T READ IT. IT'S DEADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone screamed.

"Aw, stop it you guys it was just kidding."


	6. I'm Still Alive

Okay guys. Listen up. I know I haven't updated in years but listen. It's really only because my other story that Sora advertised in the previous chapter isn't getting reviews. And I put my heart and soul in that story. But everyone loves this. I just put this together out of boredom. I didn't really expect people to like it like they did.

-Yeah, she did.

Shut up Riku. Anyway I know it's not fair but I wrote a story before that and it was good, people read it, and reveiwed it. But they don't like the sequel. And that's 100 percent bollocks.

-It sure is.

Shut up Riku.

-(snicker)

You too Roxas. Act your ages guys.

-She said 'bollocks'

It's not that funny I'm trying to be serious boys chill out.

--Yes Ma'am

Anyway read my other stories I'll update eventually 


	7. No Really I'm Still Alive

Roxas: Hey, listen up, the boss says that somehow the quotation marks keep showing up as A's on fanfiction cuz she converted everything from wordperfect to Microsoft word so she's gotta write this all stupid and elementary like this. She can't even describe this.

Risensoldier: Yeah BHK's is correct.

Roxas: Stop calling me that.

Risensoldier: What, BHK? Well your hair is blonde and you're a kid so…

Roxas: I have a name. And it ain't BHK. That was only for when the losers at SquareEnix didn't release my name when you and those other KH geeks were waiting for KH2 to come out.

Risensoldier: Not even a geek. Remember I can make you kiss Sora in the story.

BHK: Ok, ok, fine. Just tell them what's happening.

Risensoldier: Alright, radioheads, I know how slow and terrible I am. It's not my fault that I'm lazy. Just be happy I didn't just stop the whole thing. Anyway here's the next installment of WKHR.

BHK: Hello and a super, awesome, special new year to you. (puts head down and attempts to sleep)

A/N: I hate writing like this. Arrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!

Riku: Yeah, were all new for 07.

Sora: Yep! All new, all night. We just learned that the show will be cancelled soon due to either lack of enthusiasm or lack of listeners. But we learned how to operate bootleg radio we can be WKHRU Kingdom Hearts Radio Underground so look out for that. We actually get to sleep at night for that.

BHK: Yes! (forces balled fists into air)

Sora: Excuse him folks. Sleep deprivation finally got to him. Actually I think we all got it. Even I, Sora Sorington, of the Soraville Soras that Soraed the Sors of Sora.

Riku: Yep, I feel drunk now, maine. Like a rappa in da club with like 40 chickenheads. . . (bursts out in a silent, snorting laughter)

Z-Man: Zexion, here. Everyone up there is smacked. So Ill try to entertain you. He said over the headset in the basement ventilation room.

**(A/N: smacked also smack'd; a term used to express feelings of euphoria and ridculopathy due to smoking or getting 'high'. As used here as a reference to everyone in a sleep deprivated state.**

Sora: Hey Zexion. You voice sounds funny are you sick?

(Just kidding) Zexion: No, Sora. I'm downstairs.

Sora: Why, whatever for?

Zexion: To keep the building nice and cool.

"Ooohhh, Kairi, whatcha doin'?" Sora said feeling on his abdominal area.

"Nothin'. What are you doin' homie homes?" Kairi said.

"Waitin' for you to marry me so that we can have sex every two seconds." Sora purred.

"But if we had sex every two seconds, wouldn't we not get anywhere because every two seconds we would have to start over." Kairi said.

"My first child will be a girl and her name will be Bonquisha Shaniah Treyona Tyresa Treychelle Tericka Shimani Tyresea Geovanni. . . ." Sora continued with more ghetto female and male names.

A/n: Whoops I forgot and if you find that its working then this is just for comic relief

BHK: I'll be a granddaddy!!!!

Zexion: No Rox, you could probably be an uncle.

BHK: Uncle. . . .

Riku: I'm the uncle, a-hole

BHK: Nah son, you r the white haired kid how fights crime with a key.

Riku: Yeah well you're the non-existent kid with a non-existent girlfriend and gets frozen by some random bald guy.

BHK: I have never been frozen by some bald guy. Ever.

Riku: Not yet, but the KH nerds that the boss heard from say it's Sora.

Sora: No man, by that time I'll be takin' care of my wife. Right, granddaddy?

BHK: Yessir.

Sora: Hallelujah!!

Hayner: This is getting insane just cut it for right now. I gotta get my boy together. (grabs Rox—I mean BHK and carries him to another room.)

Sora: I can't run this without granddaddy, so we'll cut the show for now. We'll be back right boss

RSX: …

Sora: Okay then. See ya next time on WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	8. WKHRU Alert

Listen everyone

Listen everyone. The New WKHR is out and only has 18 hits!! I know most of you don't have me on author alert but now that I've posted this many you'll go read it now. And Review too.

RSX


End file.
